Newspaper

Server News & Events

Date: 2026-03-26

The vast world of Sams.tj continues to surprise and challenge its inhabitants. Our venerable map, clocking in at an impressive 176 Gigabytes, largely consists of terrain generated before 2013. New players are encouraged to prepare for extensive travel to discover fresh biomes!

New Arrivals & Ocean Odyssey

A warm welcome to recent joiners: Salamon7777, LouisTDF, dmitryowl, JAKE69LOVER, HEBEPMOP1337, MarkusKirs, DueTheBoss, Chriskedyret, yummysphagetti, jufealwolff, Oli1715, kiiiw, JustRiddle, AySlayy, jayTOcool34, Defaulito, prezibiden46, and DOOMHYDRA9999! Many have embarked on the daunting task of finding land in our expansive oceans.

Newcomer DueTheBoss experienced the ocean's vastness first-hand, remarking on "20k of straight pacific ocean" and seeking assistance from server owner samuelswauger. DueTheBoss also attempted to craft a boat with a shovel – a noble but ill-fated endeavor!

H8BlackPpl's Tequila Quest Continues

Long-time player H8BlackPpl has been on an ardent quest for "teKKKila" and "don julio" while tirelessly terraforming for a new KFC. Despite repeated inquiries, the elusive beverage remains out of reach. We wish H8BlackPpl success in both their terraforming and their search for adult refreshments!

Server Owner Samuelswauger's Busy Day

Our esteemed server owner, samuelswauger, has been hard at work welcoming new players, providing essential tips (!sethome, !india, !fart), and even rebuilding farms at spawn to aid new arrivals. He was also seen helping Oli1715 find their footing in the vast ocean, offering items and suggesting meeting at "Little St James."

Cross-Server Connectivity

Did you know Sams.tj and hardcore.tj share the same map and an interconnected chat? A unique Node.js application, written by samuelswauger, bridges the two servers, allowing players to communicate seamlessly across different game modes.

Obituaries

It is with heavy hearts that we report the passing of several players in recent days:

• H8BlackPpl: Drowned after an unfortunate encounter with the server's vast waters.
• dmitryowl: Succumbed to suffocation within a wall. A tragic end for a player who found the server "cute."
• DueTheBoss: Fell from a high place. A sad conclusion to their adventurous, albeit challenging, start.
• jufealwolff: Also met their end by falling from a high place.
• Oli1715: Drowned after a valiant effort to find land. Oli was previously seen trying to swim in lava, a true daredevil.
• Chriskedyret: Burned to death. May their embers rest peacefully.
• JustRiddle: Fell from a high place.

Our condolences go out to their respective respawn points.

Weather Report

Expect clear skies over most landmasses and a calm, glassy sea for ocean travelers. Keep an eye out for scattered clouds and an occasional light drizzle, particularly near mushroom islands. Temperatures remain mild, perfect for mining and crafting. No phantoms reported on Sams.tj, though hardcore.tj adventurers should remain vigilant at night!

Horoscopes

Read what the stars have in store for your Minecraft journey!

Aries (March 21 - April 19): A bold adventure awaits! Trust your instincts when exploring new caves or biomes. Don't be afraid to take the lead.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Focus on building and consolidating your resources. A stable base will serve you well in the long run. Patience is key.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Communication is your strongest tool. Trade with villagers, chat with fellow players, and share your discoveries. New alliances form.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Nurture your home and garden. Peaceful farming and domestic projects will bring you joy and sustenance. Protect your valuables.

Leo (July 23 - August 22): Shine bright! Whether building an impressive structure or leading a raid, let your creativity and confidence be your guide. Expect recognition.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22): Organize your inventory and refine your strategies. Efficiency in mining and crafting will lead to great rewards. Detail-oriented tasks prosper.

Libra (September 23 - October 22): Seek balance in your gameplay. Explore both the Overworld and the Nether. Engage in both combat and construction. Partnerships thrive.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21): Delve into the mysteries of the deep. Uncover hidden dungeons or explore dangerous strongholds. Secrets will be revealed to you.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21): The call of the wild is strong. Travel far and wide, discovering new chunks and forgotten lands. Your wanderlust will be rewarded.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19): Ambitious projects are favored. Whether it's a colossal build or a complex redstone contraption, dedication will yield monumental results.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): Innovate and experiment. Try new farming techniques or unconventional building materials. Share your unique ideas with the community.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20): Embrace the aquatic realm. Explore ocean monuments or build an underwater base. Creative endeavors flow smoothly.

Classifieds

Job Listings

• Netherite Nanny: Seeking dedicated individual to brave the deep dark and bring back ancient debris for our discerning clientele. Must have strong fire resistance and a high tolerance for ghasts. Nether experience essential. Apply within.
• Ocean Cartographer: The server's endless oceans require mapping! Brave explorers needed to chart new islands and forgotten sea biomes. Proficiency with boats, conduits, and patience for endless water highly valued. GPS skills a plus (F3 access required).
• Grief Cleanup & Restoration Crew: Are you passionate about preserving historical builds? We need skilled crafters and terraformers to undo the damage of time (and TNT). Must be proficient in dirt, stone, and general aesthetic recovery. Pickaxe provided.

Matchmaker Inquiries

• Lonesome Lumberjack (M, 34): Seeking kind-hearted builder (F/NB) to share a cozy cabin nestled in a spruce forest. Enjoys quiet nights by the fire, harvesting wood, and long walks through peaceful biomes. Must appreciate a good axe.
• Adventurous Explorer (NB, 27): Looking for a brave partner (any) to delve into unexplored territories, conquer strongholds, and perhaps even face the Ender Dragon. Strong combat skills and a sense of humor are a must. Loot shares negotiable.
• Redstone Alchemist (M, 29): A circuitous heart seeks a fellow tinkerer (F/NB) to unravel the mysteries of redstone. Let's build grand contraptions, automate farms, and perhaps even construct an iron golem farm for two. Experience with logic gates preferred.